Ryan's Blog Entry #9 09/24/2011
Where have you been all my life, subscribers? I know where I’ve been…summering like a motherfucker all over Europe. They love me there. They didn’t want me to leave. In fact, when I departed both the UK and Greece, uprisings and mass chaos broke out instantaneously. Such riots! What can I say? I have that effect on people!
In addition to my extravagant Euro trip, here are a few other endeavors I pursued this past summer:
1. Supplemented my weekly allowance by investing in a gastropub called The Rusty Trombone. It was exquisite! PoMo architecture, Philip Glass piped through the state-of-the-art sound system, you name it. But, strangely enough, pretentious people started to patronize the place and so I nixed that venture after one month’s time!
2. Temporarily conformed to nonconformist hipsterism by taking up whittling eco-friendly toys for trust fund toddlers in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (see above image)
3. Attempted to break free from the shackles of the iMovement when Steve Jobs announced his resignation #iFailed
As you are well aware, yesterday was the first day of autumn, and so the summer fun and debauchery has come to a screeching halt. Now, however, I have more time at my disposal to work on “Mis-Directed.” I promise you will see new webisodes in the near future…and I never break a promise! Well, there was that one time I swore to God...
I have to run, literally, because my sister claims that the NASA satellite has crashed into the forest behind our house and killed all of her “woodland friends.” I guess her monthly adjustment, and I’m not speaking in chiropractic terms, is wearing off. ECT must stand for “Ends Crazy Temporarily.”
'Til I blog again...