The cat's out of the bag! The second webisode of "Mis-Directed" is here! Watch it MEOW!
Ryan's Blog Entry #6 05/21/2011
Whaddya know? We’re all still here. Many of us bought into a hoax purporting that “The Rapture” would be occurring today. As far as I’ve heard, there have been no reports of earthquakes, zombies, and/or Taylor Swift singing live. That religious kook Camping must be pretty mortified right about now. Awkward…almost as awkward as that photo op Obama and Netanyahu had the other day after discussing Palestine. I don’t understand why everyone was freaking out over this supposed end of the world. Everybody knows that the first sign of the Apocalypse is illustrated in the above video. Enjoy! Don’t forget to pour acid into your eyeballs after viewing!
OT: The next webisode of “Mis-Directed” will be airing Wednesday, May 26th. And, yes, this revolution WILL be televised.
Julianna's Blog Entry #7 05/13/2011
Happy Friday the 13th, merry mortals! I surmise none of you are suffering from friggatriskaidekaphobia, but if you are, look in a mirror and repeat three times: “Grow some balls.” That might work!
To test your luck on the unluckiest of days, I have devised a contest that is sure to excite my fans (except my incarcerated followers...the only time they get excited is when I send them my autographed “artful” modeling photos). Below are six (6) haiku poems I have written about fellow celebrities who have crossed me in their paths to superstardom. The first life form to correctly identify each Hollywood poser I am referring to in my haikus wins a coveted prize. Post your submissions on the "Mis-Directed" Facebook page wall or e-mail them to firstname.lastname@example.org. The winner, along with the prize and answers, will be announced in my next blog entry. Break a leg…if you have one to stand on!
1. Come out already
Make the raw truth your idol
Running out of beards.
2. Electric chair fun
I miss us and the edgeplay
Kiss me like your bro.
3. Cheetoh ball I hate
Cesspool of guido jism
Wipe from front to back.
4. You’re still making films?
I don’t give a beaver dam
The Jews won’t watch them.
5. You and your third nip
Cocky prick can’t act for shit
Kate Moss hates your guts.
6. What happened to you?
Doodie bubbles out your crack
You have nothing now.
Ryan's Blog Entry #5 05/02/2011
Classy soiree at my house to celebrate the killing of Usama! He’s “bin Laden” with bricks as he sinks to the bottom of the ocean. His body won’t resurface because only a good, healthy shit floats…not the evil terrorist kind!
I’m so pleased that our amazing country has triumphed over the most hated cave dweller since the wolf spider. I’m also tickled that we have taken attention away from the royal wedding, which has become a royal pain in my ass! Stop with the sappiness, the proper etiquette, and the fuckin’ hideous hats! Some of those monstrosities looked like they were plucked from the mouldings of the gaudiest house in Staten Island!
Well, I’m wasting too much time talking about terrorists with bad hygiene and elitists with bad teeth. I must go now and brainstorm! I need to beat Kathryn Bigelow to the punch in writing the first screenplay about Usama’s death. I’m contemplating adding an action/horror spin to it. It would take place in early 2012, subsequent to a freighter spilling toxic waste into the Arabian Sea. Bin Laden’s corpse is saturated in the muck and reanimates. Zombie bin Laden then finds his way to the States, recruits the Westboro Baptist Church as his minions, and starts an all-out attack on homosexuals and the U.S. military. There’s only one man willing to take on this overwhelming ordeal and combat the evildoers…You get the idea! I haven’t figured out yet whom will be the hero. President Obama would be the obvious choice. But, if that’s the case, I have control over casting. Will Smith…no! Denzel Washington…nay! Cate Blanchett is my number one choice.